Mental and Physical Health

WARNING: Very Long and a Trigger Post

I am a survivor is suicide and deep depression. I remember being so far gone that I could almost taste ending it all. By th grace  of God, I have overcome that dark time.

While I love my family it is by far the hardest I ever worked in my life mentally and physically. My body and mind has undergone drastic changes that has challenged my self-esteem and marriage. I say this to say, I had given up trying to get healthy while dealing with functioning depression from early last year up until October this year. I was not taking care of myself.

On Friday night of 9/29/23, my feet swelled to the point that I could not walk on them. I ignored this and woke up that Saturday with tightness in my chest and numbing in my arms on and off. My mom has heart disease and has suffering two mild heart attacks a years ago. I began to fear that I was suffering a heart attack. By that night, my husband begged then rushed me to the St. Barnabus hospital. Spent hours in the emergency room to find out I have fluid around my heart and that there is nothing they could do. I weighed 221 pounds and exhausted. I was discharged and  advised to see my PCP.

October 2, 2023 I met with my new PCP and we devised a plan to get healthy and monitor my heart. I rejoined Noom but the free version, limited the junk food and sweets, and  started walking between 3-4 miles four days a week. I am now 196.2 pounds and still striving for a healthier lifestyle.

I could not continue to fall into the trap of helplessness. I write this to warn whoever needs to hear this. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! Self care is an absolute MUST! Love yourself and understand that you deserve to be poured into.