Raising 2 Kids... Postpartum body..The Pandemic...

Bringing Keren home was the most amazing feeling. I never felt so blessed and grateful. I thank God everyday. I want to thank everyone for love, support, and prayers. It meant everything to Chris and myself. I prayed so hard to have another baby, but I must admit that I was struggling. I was so thankful that my husband was on leave to help me with the kids for a little bit. When he had to return back to work, I cried a lot. My oldest was in preschool and that gave me a sense of relief. I had to develop a schedule in order to make the day go smoothly. It was tough because my schedule did not always go as planned and my anxiety was taking over. Kedar would get sick and that would really throw me off my game. I felt like my world was crashing down. When I had Kedar, I had so much help when he was a baby. Keren arrived and I really did not have the help that I thought I would have. All I had was Chris and as Keren was getting older, I was fine with that.

During the time of my postpartum journey, I decided to go on birth control. I felt like it was the best thing for me to do at the time. My doctor and I both agreed that my body needed a break. Plus, my menstrual cycle was not regulated again. I was not surprised that this happened because I had this same issue after having Kedar and Kemi. I started taking estrogen birth control pills and it was taking some time for my body to adjust to it. I went back in 3 months to get a check up and I gained 9 lbs. These doctors always claim that birth control does not make you gain weight. I read that it was even a myth. This was the first time that I saw my weight reach a place that I never thought it would. I told myself that I would never take contraceptives again. I was not recognizing myself and that hurt my heart so bad. I stopped the birth control, changed my diet, and started drinking water. I immediately saw a change in myself. Before I knew it, I was back to my normal size.

We ended up moving to another neighborhood and COVID 19 was spreading everywhere. It was so scary and I was so paranoid. I felt like I was losing my mind. Schools were doing remote learning at the time and that put my heart at ease. Everyday it was hard because I would watch the news and the cases were rising. People who were not going outside were getting sick. It was a really scary time. I was thankful Chris decided to go on another family leave because he was afraid for all of us. When Covid began to spread, I remember Chris fell ill. He had all the symptoms of covid. He went to the doctor twice and was told it was a viral infection. He still believes that he had covid at that time. When the kids would get sick, my anxiety was through the roof. I remember during the summer of 2020, Keren got really sick. We just almost knew that she had covid, but she had the cox-sackie virus. She had a fever for about 8 days in total. I thought it was never going to end. Through it all, I thank God anyway.

The school year was starting again for Kedar and he was starting kindergarten. All the schools and a lot of other places were still remote at this time. Chris had started working again. I was beginning to have a set schedule again and things were finally coming together. To be honest, I was thankful that we did not need to really go out. If we needed anything, we would just order it. We only went out for family functions or doctor appointments. After staying in the house for so long, I really missed going out. I love how we would do family things and couple date nights at home. In those times of doing things at home, I realized how much I should have done when there was no pandemic at all. I learned over the pandemic that life is beautiful and short. You have to make the best of life as if it was your last. I promised myself moving forward that I was going to put all of my fears in God's hands.