Surprises

Learning that I was pregnant again was a surprise for my family. I was literally walking the streets not knowing anything. I must say we were all happy. I love being a mother and I knew that my baby was going to complete our family. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I felt like everything was going fine. I had to cancel appointments a lot because I did not have the help watching my kids. My oldest Kedar was still going to school remotely because of the pandemic, and Keren and my niece were a year old at the time. It was really hard to do things for myself or even get around to going to my appointments. Later on in my pregnancy, I began to have panic attacks at the doctor's office. It got so bad to the point where I was referred to a therapist. I was so nervous about going to therapy, all my life I was told "You don't need therapy, you have Jesus." I always stayed in prayer and knew God was with me during this pregnancy every step of the way. My attacks were affecting my health. My blood pressure was beginning to elevate at visits and the attacks were getting worse. I ended up doing the consultation and I did not know what to expect.

Surprisingly, it went well and I was able to get the treatments. I was diagnosed with White Coat Syndrome. It is a condition that happens when your blood pressure is high during a reading due to being in a medical environment. Therapy made me see that I was still grieving. I was unpacking feelings that I thought I overcame. The trauma from losing Kemi, caused me to have fear not only in a medical facility. I was scared of everything and the pandemic did not make things any better. Therapy is work and sometimes I did not feel like doing the exercises. The breathing exercises that I learned in therapy helped a lot moving forward. My blood pressure had some readings that were high, but the attacks stopped. Just when things start to get better, something else happens. Covid entered my house.

I was close to delivering any day now and my husband felt like he was getting a cold. We always test ourselves for covid when we get sick. This time he tested himself and he had it. This was the worse I have ever seen him. He was feverish, sluggish, stuffy, coughing, and could barely walk. I was going crazy because I did not know what to do. We all went to the doctor and I was practicing my breathing exercises before they called us in the room. When we went in the room, they tested us all again for covid. It was the longest wait ever. We got the results and found out that my son Kedar had it as well. I was thankful that Kedar did not have any symptoms. Keren and I did not have it. Home did not feel like home anymore because we were divided. I had to do everything by myself fully pregnant. I was tired of taking out the trash, filling out surveys everyday, and getting calls from health and hospitals. It was just a mess, but I thank God when covid left my house.

It was time for delivery and I waited an hour to start my induction. When I finally got in the room, I had a fever of 101. I could not believe it because I thought I was fine. The nurse in my room at the time went and got another nurse because her immune system was weak. Everybody is walking in my room with so much protective gear on and I just felt that I had covid at this point. I was beginning to panic and started to cry. I was ready to leave. No one was saying anything, they just kept drawing blood, and swabbing my nose for everything. After about an hour or so passed, a nurse walked in and explained that I did not have anything. They were getting to the bottom of my fever. They gave me antibiotics and my fever fluctuated while I was in the hospital that whole time.

The epidural was horrible. I love epidurals because I do not like pain. This was the first epidural that I received that was painful. I screamed so loud and was crying so hard. The anesthesiologist walked out the room like she did nothing wrong. Of course they would say it is the patient and never them. No compassion at all. The contractions were getting stronger. I kept pressing the epidural button but nothing was working. I stopped pressing the button for the medication and just kept calling my doctor after a while. I called her in the room the first time, but I still was not ready to deliver. I turned positions and I just knew within a couple minutes that my baby was coming. I called my doctor and she shook her head up and down. She knew that it was time. I did 4 big pushes and my baby boy Keleb was here.

We were so happy and he was healthy. After I pushed the placenta out, I noticed that I felt blood gushing out. One thing I learned from my labor and delivery journey is that I know my body. I have to advocate for myself because if I don't anything can happen. I told my doctor and she was immediately attentive to the situation. I was beginning to hemorrhage again. It was not as bad as the last time, but she made sure that she did everything to stop it. They put some medicine up my butt and she got an ultrasound machine. She put it on the lower part of my stomach and started to pull the blood clots out 1 by 1 with her hand. I was crying so bad because I could not believe this was happening to me again. I was just so blessed that this time I had an African American doctor that knew how to treat me. The bleeding was starting to ease up. Thank God.

Even though the bleeding was not as heavy, I lost too much blood. I needed a blood transfusion. I was anemic in every pregnancy I had, but this was the first time I needed blood. I was scared but I knew I needed it. I was pale, weak, and a little light headed. The staff kept monitoring my bleeding. The blood transfusion made me feel a little dizzy and I had a fever again of 102. The staff could not understand what was causing this fever. I was still getting tested for everything, but still nothing. I finally got a room and my stay at the hospital was very lonely. I knew I had other kids at home and my husband could only stay with me but so much. I was thankful for my family. They truly helped out a lot. When I left to come home, I was overjoyed. God is so good. I could not kiss Keleb because I still did not know what I had, but it was an infection for sure. I still was breastfeeding, but my entire house became sick again. I was annoyed again because we had just got over covid. I ended up sick in the hospital right after that and now everyone is sick again. Keleb was the only one that was not sick. I thought it was best to not have visitors because we kept getting sick. It was crazy but we got through it! Thank God.