Trying Again

I knew that I wanted more kids, but I did not know when I wanted to try again. I felt like my body needed a break. I knew that another baby would never replace Kemi. But I always dreamed of raising more than 1 child. I grew up in a household with siblings. The bond that we have is beautiful. As time went on, I asked my husband if he wanted to try again and he answered no. That literally destroyed me inside. I felt like I kept praying to have another little one. My husband and I were not on the same page. I was not going to keep pressuring him about kids. My faith was so big and I knew that I would have another baby. In the meantime, my main goal was to focus on myself. Every morning I would wake up talking to God about my goals. I started taking better care of myself. I changed my eating habits, worked out, and went to the doctor to check my health. I ended up taking progestin birth control pills because I found myself having frequent patterns of irregular bleeding. I thought maybe the pills would change what was happening. After a month of taking the pills, I realized that I began to bleed every other week. My gynecologist did not even know why it was happening. It was so bad to the point where I was getting lightheaded walking the streets. I told myself that I was going to find a new doctor. When I found my doctor, I knew God was guiding me to new beginnings. My new doctor at the time was able to give me a diagnosis. She discovered that I have PCOS. I was so thankful because now I know why I’ve been having these irregular bleeding patterns since I was 19. As relieved as I was, I still wanted another baby. She explained that I can start right away. When I came home, I spoke to my husband about my visit. He finally told me that he wanted to try again around August 2019. I was disappointed that he was not ready to start right away. But I was thankful that he wanted to try again. It was getting close to the holidays, and I noticed that out of nowhere my irregular bleeding stopped. I already had a scheduled appointment for another ultrasound around that time. When I went for my ultrasound, the doctor did the examination. She explained that everything was fine and that she saw a heartbeat. I thank God as I cried tears of joy. We were going to wait to try again but God had other plans. It was the best Christmas gift I could give my family. I was a little nervous to tell my husband. I did not know how he was going to take the news because we had a plan. He was so overjoyed when I told him Christmas morning. God was answering all of my prayers.

#notalone